November 17th, 2021

john | Nov. 17, 2021, 8:10 a.m.

Can't sleep.   Watched a movie.  Was rather decent.  Nothing to rave home about.  But the movie did have a line I liked. 

Don't remember said line.  I remember the gist of it, but regardless, the line did what it needed to when I heard it.

I've been stuck again, waiting.  This limbo is interesting.  Floating, that's what it seems like.  Through spacetime. 

Although, not staying idle.  Simply floating.  Kinda funny, because I'm unsure how to explain the feelings I've had throughout my life.  They all seem to build on things.  I've changed my mind a few times, I feel it's only part of the maturing processing.  Or educating yourself.

Of course I don't mean educating yourself, in terms of reading some internet comments.  Although not to say, they don't offer the answer to the solution at times.  More down the path of picking up a book, or a few.

The narrative of a book has a stronger ability to shape the way you think.  Which is also why you should be wise in the books you read.  In my darkest of times I've always buried myself in books.  Searching for the answer to the problem I didn't know I was in.

I just knew I was in a problem.  Sometimes it helped instantly.  Generally though, it was a strong enough distraction from the problem to allow my brain time to distract its self from the problem.  Those breaks, where normally sufficient to fix the problem.

Granted, I also learned a lot of things in the process.

Reading isn't enough though.  That's the beauty of engineering I guess.  It isn't just reading, it's building too.  Failing is essential.  It's how you learn.  As you learn, you fail less.  The difference I suppose between the good and the greats is the greats must expect failure to be part of the process.  Perhaps even relish in it.

It's how you learn.  Plus, if you always failing, the times you aren't.  Well, then I guess your living.