It takes a bit to learn oneself

john | Oct. 23, 2022, 12:31 a.m.

I use to joke about the fact that I would sometimes rabbit hole into a problem; It would consume me.  Then I would crack it.  And then I would get bored.  Start having existential crisis; then it would happen, a problem would find me.  It would stick its finger out, generally in the attempt to wet willy me to start.

Coming sometimes from a grave.  It would then slowly crawl towards me.  Like the Adams family hand.  Except it wouldn't just be a hand.  It would be a problem, with a grotesquely looking mechanical finger.

It would find me.  Always generally in what one can only describe as peak neurosis, sleeping.

Now of course, this wouldn't be a general problem or anything that can easily be solved.  No, it would be a problem that would require thinking: Sometimes its capsizing a boat, other times its digging oneself out of a tree well, but at this specific moment its a mechanical finger attached to some benign looking faulty, short circuiting, adorable only in the eyes of its omnipotent overlord slave making problem maker creator. A rotten sandwich.

Generally problems always start with some vulgarity.  Not specifically some though, just the vulgarity.  You know the one I'm talking about.

See, you thought it, and I didn't even have to say it.  It, like a problem.  Finds itself right at the peak of the problem.  Generally this is exactly where the solution begins.  As the exasperation alone of shouting the vulgarity gives a sort of hallow joy.

Some sort of cosmic reaction.  Or put more simply, when you realize you're fucked.