I felt bad for my readers

john | Oct. 2, 2022, 5:26 p.m.

I mean why should I feel good for you, I presume you are either bots, lawyers, or worse, humans.  The bastion of information in the internet and you choose to read this.  It's as if you wish to live.  Or just occasionally dance to the rhythm of my words, more specifically, suffocate to the inconsequential meaningless of them.

It's okay though, I don't have any grievances with any of you who put yourself through this dread also called once or twice the testicle diaries.  It's not like they are rock hard anyways, just hanging around.  The humans of course. 

Imagine to my horror when I searched to see if thetesticlediaries.com and testiclediaries.com where registered, and they where.  By me of course.

Who else would burn money on such a fruitless pursuit.  People who dig holes professionally might I guess have a word with me.  But I digress.

I still feel bad for my readers, because you occasionally have to read in hope you will be enlightened.  Every once in a while I feel I throw out some wisdom, such as make sure you shower.  Specifically wash your clothes as well.  To those of you who can't wash your clothes, I salute you.

The salute of course is nothing particular, just a sort of hand waving around.  Someone might think it is showing exculpation.  They would be wrong.  As even I don't know what that word means.

Nonetheless, the dictionary served no purpose either.  Not because it does not have it, but because I am too distracted to be bothered by it.  Last time I used the dictionary I tried passing something on to future generations.

We won't get into that though, it just ends up with some more testicles.  Really, you would be amazed what future is inside of them.

I could call them nuts, but that's too literal.  I prefer the medical terminology.  Its far more palpable, like an arousal.

I wonder though, who made the mechanical system honestly.  It functions on its own from birth.  Of course like most fetuses, it made its way head first.  Some came out through the sea of sections.

I digressed so far, and yet they still hang around.  My nuts that is.  You know those wonderful beautiful life creating things.  That despite men's best efforts, find a way.  Well thankfully condoms exist and they preserve your testicles from exploring their true potential.

Last I heard, its cosmic.  Thankfully mine tend to run into a latex wall.  But enough of the childish analogies of my testicles.

The moment is upon us in which I must disregard all this gibberish and try to find the nugget of wisdom in there.  Thankfully I haven't cracked my drink for the day, a nice refreshing soda.  I miss sugar cain soda.