How to grow your email list to three subscribers

john | Jan. 9, 2021, 6:09 a.m.

Over the past twenty five years as a prolific internet user I have been able to accomplish many feats.  Some of which have garnered the attention of governments, others of family members.  None of these though are as profound as the truly difficult feat of growing my subscriber list.

You would think that growing a list to three users would be something down right nearly impossible, as I did too.  But in reality it turned out to be even harder than that!

Don't worry though, I wont lead you down the path of struggles and tribulations to get your self to three subscribers, I will instead show you the light at the end of the tunnel in a quick and simple walk through guide.

Obviously most people would wonder, "Wow John, how did you do it?" and thankfully I have an answer for you, it's simple really.  Build a blog.  After you have done this, put a email subscriber list at the bottom.

But that's not all, oh no I also thought just like I was promised by the field of dreams that if I build it, they will come.  That was false, once I built the blog no one came.  Thankfully that didn't matter or stop me from getting subscribers.

Instead once I had done the hard part of building the blog, and putting a email subscriber list on the bottom, I had to do the absolute most terrifying thing.  Write a blog post.

Now of course most of you think, "By golly I'm terrible at writing, how will I ever get to three subscribers?" and for you I have an answer, write a test blog post.  Something as complicated as "test blog post".

I know this may be daunting, but don't worry this will simply get all the pent up subscriber demand frothing at the mouth hoping for your next post.  Of course this wont make them subscribe, but this will make you be very well on your way to your first subscriber.

Once you have made the test blog post, do the impossible.  Go from zero to one, subscribe yourself to your blog.

Now of course this is a monumental moment for your blog and subscriber list.  You should in reality pat yourself on the back.  You have managed the mathematical improbability of growing at infinity percent.

Of course once you have relished in the joy that is your first subscriber, then forget you have a blog for a while.  This is crucial, as patience is key for success. 

Out of the blue once you get outraged at something in life, then write your second blog post.  Call this post, First post.

To keep the potential subscribers believing that it is in fact your first post, and not the post that brought you from zero to one, delete the test post.  Perhaps even maybe have a nice little digital funeral for it in which you wish it the best in the after life, and then move on.

After you successfully published the First post, do the unthinkable and send it to a friend, specifically asking them if the newsletter subscription works.

Congratulations, you have now gotten subscriber number two!  Look at you go!

Now I have lead you this far, of course to reach post number three, well I got nothing on that one, that one just simply takes a bit of luck.