john | Dec. 22, 2021, 9:49 p.m.
Damn, the wickedness of life. It's a constant. It's just hard. Although, it doesn't feel overwhelming anymore. It feels, just constant. As if it's there, and I'm slowly, years later, learning what I probably should of been acutely aware of in my youth.
Although, It's insane how much I've felt myself change over a very short amount of time. Taking massive leaps. Although there are still some things that haven't moved as quickly.
I don't think anything was wrong per say, I think I was just transfixed. On obscure one off thoughts, that I couldn't refute for some reason.
Although, now. I'm able more than before to notice that I'm in that state. It's taken significant setbacks to realize this though.
I think the cost was worth it. Although I do, for once, wish that I would of figured it out maybe half a decade earlier? Before then I don't think I would of appreciated it regardless.
On the contrary, I do feel that I lived my twenties, not perfect. On the contrary, rather stumbled. At times into greatness. Although, I don't remember much of it. I was so distracted by my inner thoughts.
In search of the distraction, I was able to gain the knowledge of other things. Things that in the end, I guess if I live long enough, might help here and there.
I'm slowly feeling the rush, dissipate. Wow, I think that's it. It was the rush of everything. As though time will fly. Which it does. But you can't rush feelings. Curiosity. I think that was a pretty significant realization. What else I'm in the rush for? The things I need to rush for, are not related to that at all.
What's the rush?
Get an email once a month if there where posts that month