john | Dec. 19, 2021, 4:37 a.m.
I am not sure how to describe the feeling I feel. It's rather odd, I had a chance with a once in five year event. I even felt it, something was amiss to lead to it. I had to rewrite what I wrote. Because it still hurt.
I realized in fixing a line, that the premise of the discussion was gone. It had to be redone. There is nothing that feels like this. It is what in a sense you took your time to get too. To simply be able to present yourself well enough to woo.
Not only did you actually have the chance, twice. That's what destroys you. It wasn't once. Those you can live with. It was twice. How does it happen, that you end up twice just so slowly messing it up.
I've been drawing lately. Maybe I should do that now. I have a lesson I need to do in this book I'm reading on how to draw.
I feel a bit better I suppose. There really isn't much I can do. I can wallow. It's a few letters away from wooing. Instead I'll just play with the dog.
Speaking of that. I was walking him today, and some fireworks went off. He didn't see me, so he went running back home. He got trapped by a few people before he made it home. They said they where trying to email me. I guess I should change his collar to a phone number instead.
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