We'll all float on okay

john | Jan. 8, 2026, 2:37 p.m. Uncategorized

Damn straight we will.  I am slowly realizing, despite my brains best efforts to the contrary, that we will all in fact float on.  My brain had this weird obsession with a meaningless game with serious rules. Still silly nonetheless.

This game hurt a lot.  In a way that no other game hurt.  Probably because it was a fantasy I was living during it that got robbed from me when I realized that the reality was far more sinister.  

Good news is on the way.

It's so hard at times to believe that, but if you are able to muster it, it feels so nice.  It's right there, the good news, I feel it.  It's on the cusp.  Don't worry, don't panic, just don't.  

Something I've been repeating in my brain when the thoughts overwhelm me is that "I'll never... never" 

It all started out as full sentences of course.  But those sentences I realized take me to things that I can't honestly say "never" too.  For example, when the thought last time came to me, it was about to go to the world where I was going to say "I'll never talk to my ex again", but the truth to that, is I don't know if I will.  

Not that what happened is forgivable, it's too tied to the core of everything, so the odds of ever reconciling are as close to zero as time travel. But does that mean I might not end up in a situation where we have to interact? I can't say for sure, so why do I feel the confidence to tell myself that I'll never do it, as if I have a magic ball to predict a situation in which years ahead I stumble into a situation that she's there and despite my trying to leave chance makes it so we crash into each other while walking some where due to distraction and as a reaction I say a generic thing without realizing who she says like excuse me, or even a sorry. 

Even if I kept walking after realizing who it was, the universe would of made it so even despite my "Never talk to my ex again" I still ended up talking to her, even if it was for a fleeting moment.

Or what if she for some bizarre reason still has my number, and her current lover is also called Johnathan and by happenstance she means to call him, types into her phone "Johnathan" and instead of hitting the love of her life, she calls me.  I pick up and say hello unbeknownst to me who it is and say "Hello"

Stranger things have happened.

So, instead of trying to predict all the ways that life could prove me wrong, I'd rather just not even acknowledge a situation that I don't know if I ever want to happen or not.  I don't think I want it too, but the universe might have different plans for me. So the best bet is always to just never... never.

Which of course is it's own exception.  Since I'll never never, means I couldn't even never that sentence itself.

It's worth it. Good news will work its way into the day.

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