July 28th, 2022

john | July 28, 2022, 10:23 a.m.

Some days I just can't sleep.  I had not worked out in a while, and then I did.  Maybe that's it.  But I doubt it.  I mean sure it probably influences, but it don't feel like that would be the cause.

It is something else on my mind.  Maybe proportionality.  Or just enjoying the shift in the meaningless of it all.  I realized I am not in a rush for once.  It doesn't matter if I was.  It wouldn't change anything.

It is odd to think that I really struggled with adulthood in a sense.   There where things, and perhaps still are, that I am probably fully unequipped to deal with.  Yet, I have never felt happier.  To quote Kurt Vanaguant, if this isn't fun, I don't know what is.

I've been rereading the Hitchhikers guide to the galaxy.  Hadn't read that series in at least a decade.  I must say, this time around I relate to different things in the books, but the core philosophy is still there. 

Yeah, maybe I just needed to write nothingness.  I took a break from everything in a sense.  I needed too, no reason why.  Just did.

Now I sit here, relaxed.  Something about this moment is beautiful.  Although the sun is going to come up here soon enough.  Maybe I will go for a coffee if I am still awake.  Who knows.  But I feel a bit less charged.