July 11th, 2024

john | July 11, 2024, 9:56 p.m. Uncategorized

My mood has been odd since an event or two.  In one, it went about how I expected.  In the other, didn't go how I wanted, but also how I felt it was going to go.  It's this odd feeling that lingers, despite telling myself it's a wasted investment.

It doesn't matter in the end, that nihilism making itself be heard.  Despite that, the feeling lingers, albeit slightly differently.  Less weight perhaps.  The view is spectacular.  It will be missed.  It feels heavy in a sense, as if its truly the end of a chapter.

Oh well, was fun while it lasted.  The issue with that though, is the fun lasts as long as you can make it last.  Some days, its just not going to be there.  Dismal is the mood.  Maybe that's why.  Not sure honestly, but for some reason the urge keeps on.

Slowly shifting I suppose, just not sure to what or why.  But the feeling is lifting finally.  Not sure why, maybe its the majestic view.  Maybe it's because it will be missed.  Maybe it's because some Nina is playing.  That's probably it.  Has to be.

Or maybe cause as I write it out I realize that I'm doing two things I wanted to do, write, and get it out.  Seems the optimism is edging itself in.  Have to stay with the times, like fly fishing, a permanent edge. Never done it.

What's it matter my friends, one must enjoy the few moments that despite their best efforts prevent you from making the life the occasion that it is. 

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