I was feeling uneasy

john | March 18, 2021, 4:43 a.m.

I sat down at the table, and I just knew something was wrong.  I had done well the previous few nights, but today was different.  Suddenly, it's as if I became aware of the situation I was in.  Not that it was anything outside of the extraordinary.

Something was off.  It would attach itself and not let go.  I sat there, and wondered what had happened, what caused this feeling.  It probably was because I had done so well each time, as if it was easy.  But the reality was a bit more sinister.  It was rooted in a memory of the past.  

Back in the day the game was just as easy, because if you lost it all, you just didn't eat for a few days.  Now, if you lose it all, everything goes to calamity.  So I sat there, and thought.  What was causing this feeling, why couldn't I shake it.

I thought I could play through it, but it started making me anxious.  This game requires patience.  It was a recipe for disaster.  I lost.

I lost again.

I thought, okay maybe I should step away.  I did.  I let time go bye, it's usually good with this, and then I returned.

I lost.

I couldn't believe it, so I tried again just in case.

I lost again.

This can't be, it's never gone this bad.  I realize that time isn't going to fix this one.  I need to fix it myself.  So I started with the memories.  I found one of an old friend.  I hit him up.

We talked, it had been a minute.  I told him I would talk for two.

I talked for two.

I texted another friend while my friend contemplated.  My other friend replied.

Both suggested the same thing.

What a coincidence.  Or, how wise of them both.

Yet it wasn't the solution, but it triggered it.  So maybe it was.  The anxiousness got answered by a memory of the past.  So well see how it goes, cause the patience is back, so the game should be easy, just like it was in the past.