February 9th, 2025

john | Feb. 9, 2025, 8:07 p.m. Uncategorized

The only thing I feel qualified to write about is my life.  Yet I suffer from this thing called.  Who the hell knows what it's called.

Probably about a girl, but maybe not.   My friend suggested life isn't so binary.  Well that's true, it's just life.  I have no idea what to do anymore.

It all seems, odd.  I want to write futile, but it doesn't seem to fit at all.  I don't know what it seems like.  Lost, but not.  Maybe actually won.  It's been so long that the decision, is shocking.

Yeah that's it.  Shocking, I knew that word felt off yesterday.  But it feels on point today.  Did I shock.  Was that what was needed?  I was being righteous.  Honesty is always presumed, and she knows this, no point in not being.  But the intent was 100% righteous, the words even where clear and succulent. 

Wow, maybe I am in fact the luckiest man.  Maybe maybe maybe.  What else do I have to hope for.  Guess in the end it's all a matter of perspective.  Just guess if you chose the wrong perspective, once its all said and done you realize you where wrong, or right.

Righteous.  Seems it's right in there.

I don't know why but it doesn't feel like an L.  It feels heavy sure, but not an L.  Fucking a, I'm smiling.  Just handle the wave I guess, and it goes back to normality.  It's okay, tomorrow will be another day.  Today will mark tomorrow.  It has too, it's all we can build on.  Today, the present.  The message was sent.  The silence was heard.

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